I remember you, so small, so blue, no noise at all. Watching your little chest slowly rise and shake as it fell, how much longer could this go on? How could someone so tiny hold so much of my heart so completely? You had given so much to your brother, all that giving and yet, here you were.
I remember you, so small and yet so much bigger than your brother. You were the one I got to hold, it had to be enough for the both of you, for all of us. How could I love you both so much when even just the one was enough to make my heart feel as if it could burst? Did you miss him? Did you wonder where your other half was?
Almost together my boys, almost.
Finally together again. Our boys, our little miracles. Your next day would be so exciting, coming home, finally. One month… 4 weeks… 28 day… 672 hours … 40,320 minutes… 2,419,200 seconds all just a measurement of time, none of them explain just how much you were longed for while we waited for you both to come home. How our arms craved you, our eyes sought you out in your empty bed, and your brothers and sisters asked for you.
Finally together again, all of us.
Connor and Seamus TTTS survivors and the icing on this family’s cake.
Our boys born October 2010, there is hope.
*Connor and Seamus also have a rare endocrin condition called Pseudohypoaldosteronism. If you have a child with PHA, or suspect that your child may, I belong to a wonderful online support group that can be found here. Also if you have any questions for me about our experience with TTTS or PHA please feel free to e-mail me at email@example.com subject line -Sasha’s Twins- or of course feel free to leave your question in the comment section below and I will get back to you as quickly as possible. May peace be with you and yours this day.